Thursday, August 14, 2008

"I don't want to be bored with you"

So, I wasn't going to do a recap of the Blog Party for a couple of reasons.

First one being, I thought it was totally lame. Juuuuuuuuuuust kidding. No truth in THAT joke fellow psycho-analyzers. The first reason being because I was afraid of leaving someone/something out. You know, like I had this totally meaningful experience with someone and then completely don't acknowledge it, and then it's devastating and then there's the phone calls, and the sobbing, and then the subsequent lawsuit...

I just wanted to avoid that all together. Then also, I knew 14 other people would be recapping it, and for the same reason I didn't take a camera to Chicago or Oregon, I wasn't going to recap. I enjoy riding on other's hard work and good deeds. In Iowa, it's pronounced LAY-ZEEEEE.

But I dream about Elastic.

And crack up laughing in front of complete strangers about Carronin.

And still have the urge to use my elbows "inappropriately" on Millie.

So I feel like I should recap, in an effort to clear my mind.

I'm just going to do some free association writing here. Good luck.

I got to pick up Millie first thing Friday morning. Being with Millie is like being with a sister. I'm 100% comfortable, and while that's great for me, possibly not so great for her. I am aware of that. She's very witty and funny and has a great knack for making anyone she's with, have a good time.

We picked up Klin and had a great time getting to chat over breakfast. It's weird how there's an immediate level of comfort with complete strangers. Klin is friendly and smart and definitely passionate about what she does, and you can just tell she's very good at what she does. I am inspired to totally copy her.

After we finished breakfast, where NCS had joined us, we walked to the parking lot to load up NCS's van. I asked NCS, "Where are you parked?" And she said, "See if you can find my van." I immediately started to get argumentative and say, "I don't remember what your van looks like!" when I spotted Super Happy Girl. In all her Dental Misfortune Glory. It was a wondrous sight and we all laughed pretty hard. And we felt super cool loading up the van with everyone staring. At least I wasn't the ugliest girl there. Sorry NCS. I know you love her. Everyone needs someone to love them. But even love can't make some girls pretty.

Now, a little background---I am somewhat intimidated by Elastic and Millie's musical prowess. They know every song ever written, it seems. And often when they make music references, I feel like my eyes should be rolling back in my head, drool should be spilling, and to top it off, I should insert a finger in my nose. I'm completely illiterate about that kind of stuff. But I do try to keep it together. For the kids.

So, Friday night, Carrot, Elastic, and I ventured down to the beach to check it out. I had "known" them and been in their presence less than an hour. I was feeling like that 1st grader hanging out with the 4th graders, totally awesome. We hit the beach and Elastic says, "Doesn't this remind you of Chariots of Fire?" and she breaks into a slow mo run and they both start "singing" the tune. Immediately I became overly excited. I KNOW Chariots of Fire! I played it on the piano when I was little. WAHOO!! I'm so in the cool club. For that moment.

And I break out in song, loudly joining my two new BFFs.

With the theme from Star Wars.

Yeah, I'm cool. Of course they both laughed and pointed and what's a musically illiterate girl supposed to do? I stopped pretending to be cool right then and there.

That night Annie showed her amazing ability to be a ring leader, with a group of loud and disorderly rings, and we had a great time getting to know each other a little better. Some people too well.

Like that vague reference? You are welcome.

On Saturday even I enjoyed shopping. I hate shopping. It was fun to hop from person to person and get to know everyone a little bit better.

I got to eat lunch with Carrot, Glittersmama, Aubrey, and Elastic. A definite highlight for me.

Carrot is gentle and kind and very funny. I've loved her blog for some time now. And I hate to brag, but the real thing---the real Carrot, is even better in real life. I just wanted to be by her all the time in hopes that her sweet and funny would rub off on me. It didn't. I'm still crude, rude, and entirely unfunny. Something that totally cracked me up, I was totally loose with van riding and hopped from van to van. One time when I was riding with Carrot and I was telling her about my tendency to get random songs stuck in my head that usually reflected how I was feeling. I listed off 3 of the songs that were randomly stuck in my head. She quietly says, "I don't think those are how you are feeling, I think you are channeling my CD case." She had all three songs with her.

Glittersmama was someone I was super excited to meet. I may or may not have thrown myself at her when she stepped out of the van on Friday night. And she may or may not have winced and ducked. But we both pretended that didn't happen and carried on. She is strikingly beautiful and doesn't act like it at all. I'm not saying she walks around hunchbacked and stuttering--she just doesn't walk around acting all superstar and whatnot. Even though she is. Whenever Glittersmama laughed at anything I said, it was like an award. She's not a snob or anything, but she definitely isn't going to go around making you feel good by laughing at dumb things. I said plenty of things she didn't laugh at. But we aren't talking about those things. At least not on my blog. She also has like four thousand more IQ points than me. I'm a smart girl, but around her, I'm hunchbacked and stuttering.

Aubrey is...I'm having a hard time articulating what I feel about Aubrey, because with her, it was a presence, more than a description I could articulate. When she was around, I felt good. I was happy to be alive. Maybe she's a walking feel-good pheromone or something. I don't know. She's engaging, she's smart, she's funny---in a way that was a little bit different than the rest of us. I am not in the LEAST bit gullible, and she totally got me a couple of times. One time she opened up a jar of bean dip and I, trying to be kind and conversational and make her not feel like a left out bean dip opener, said, "Hey, did you make that dip?" I almost fell out of my chair when sweet, kind, very personable Aubrey made a motion with the jar of bean dip and gave me a look like, "I'm fighting every urge not to call you stupid right now, because I AM a nice person" and showed me that indeed, the bean dip was in a STORE BOUGHT CONTAINER. In short, I like Aubrey very much. It's strange that a person I barely knew before last week, is someone I really am glad I know and hope to see many many more times. If she brings the bean dip.

Elastic is someone you immediately feel comfortable with. Even if you are ending sentences with a preposition, she won't judge you. I loved hearing her stories because they are great and entertaining. And she doesn't just talk over you---it's a conversation with her. "I remember this one time I totally tore my pants when I was running from these mobsters and had to jump a fence to get out of this pasta factory. Have you ever torn your pants running from mobsters in a pasta factory?" I keed. But I always felt very drawn in by her stories, but I also felt like she was just as interested in what I had to say. You know what I'm talking about, right? Plus, I love the way she truly loves and enjoys her kids. It inspires me. If she can be that cool and that enthusiastic while having twice as many kids as me, working, AND homeschooling, I think i could probably muster some enthusiasm for these little stinkers around here. Elastic---I want to move to Texas all over again. Just for you. :)

Along with Klin, I got to room with Suzanne, Amanda, and Tori. I just imagine, if those girls had been my roommates at college, this sentence would not be as coherent as it is today. I never would have gone to sleep. Or to class. I LOVE those girls. I had met Suzanne and Tori before and pretty much everything I thought before, remains. I just feel an even great kinship with them. Yes Tori, I said kinship in reference to you. I'm a complete dork. Tori is quiet but funny. She's one of those cool girls who everything she wears, says, does, thinks----is automatically cool. You just want to be with her because you are certain you will become cooler by proximity. I tried. I'm still a dork. But I love Tori even more.

Suzanne is a lifetime best friend that you just pick up where you left off. She has a calming effect on me. I love to be with her, love her insights, love how she loves Nobody, and love her stories. She's the most unassuming person I have ever met. That's assuming I know what unassuming means. Suzanne would never do that.

Plus, she's not a blanket hogger. Or sleep kicker. And even her morning breath is like roses. In short, I love Suzanne.

Now Amanda. She came walking up to us at the airport and she had this great smile and I thought, "hmmm, she's pretty. And that's an awful friendly smile. It's almost like she knows us..." Turns out she DID know us. To me, she didn't look like the picture I saw on the internet. I would have said something, but I didn't want it to sound like, "You're a dog on the internet, and not half bad in real life" because it's just different. But I heard Elastic tell her she didn't look the same. Elastic is all kinds of bold. So I wasn't the only one who thought it. Amanda is like the prize at the bottom of a really delicious box of cereal. I really really really like her. She's quiet, but the kind of quiet I love. She says really hilarious things---quietly. So it totally reinforces me to not be an insufferable loud mouth, because then I get to hear the hilarious, and quiet things she says.
One day we all walked really far down the beach to take a picture by a rock. Yes, we're that cool. About 2 feet away from the rock, as we were walking back, I suddenly had to go to the bathroom SO BADLY. Well, a mother of three, walking alongside a beach with rolling water sounds, having to go to the bathroom desperately was a very trying experience. Amanda and I would talk and then 3 minutes later I would say, "Ohhhhhhh, I'm not going to make it." And she would sweetly say how hard my life must be right now. And then we'd talk about something else and then I'd bust out with the whining, mixed with mild panic. Finally, the bathrooms were relatively in sight and I was chanting, "I think I can" and being totally annoying and Amanda says in a sweet voice, "I tell my children, just don't think about it." It was a horribly cruel thing to do. She was so sick of hearing me, but too nice to tell me to shut my face, so she used her children. To tell me I was being a baby. It made me laugh a lot, and that laughing added to the above mentioned scenario, it didn't have any way to go but ugly.

I want to move next door to Amanda. Well, I want to live on one side of her, with Mt. Rushmore on the other side. I feel like I discovered a gem in Amanda, someone I will call friend until the next time I almost pee my pants. Then she will be a sad reminder of what might have been, had I kept myself "intact" at the Blog Party.

I had some reservations about this party, because 15 women is a LOT of women. And to be perfectly honest, sometimes it was a little overwhelming. But I have walked away from it feeling amazed that so many different people with so many different personalities, could have such an amazing time like we did.

Yvonne was one of the people I didn't know at all, and I loved that I got to meet her and spend time with her. She is one of the most easy-going people I have ever met. Unless she was faking. In which case, she is the best faker, while being around a bunch of really loud girls, that I have ever met in my life. I think every person there loved getting to know her and talking to her more. She's easy to talk to and easy to be with.

Heffalump was another person I didn't know. But I called her house on Sunday night at 10:30 and did some heavy breathing (only because NCS almost hit a pedestrian) only to find out that she was not in fact Carrot's cell phone. She was so friendly with her late night wrong number caller. If only she'd said, "No, this is Heffalump" I would have known the first time I called. She's a great cook and made a yummy dinner for us and has an adorable and VERY mild-mannered baby girl.

Carronin makes me laugh. Almost every time she spoke, it made me laugh out loud. She's just really good at the one sentence, very funny things. I think I will try every day for the rest of my life to be as succinctly funny as her, and I will probably be on my death bed telling a knock-knock joke that doubles as a novel. I think I heard more than half the women there talk about how Carronin made them feel good when she laughed. I agree. I'm very glad I got to meet Carronin. Plus, she got her picture taken with Lyle. It doesn't get much cooler than that.

NCS was the MC of this whole shindig. She didn't do much MCing, but she did a LOT to put it all together and is great at making everyone feel welcome. And happy. She was an excellent hostess and I have many things I could write about NCS, but I fear this post has grown too long already. I'll just say, NCS completes me.

I was so tired on Monday morning when I left, I think we fell asleep close to 5 and woke up at 6. And the ONLY reason I got up at 6 am to catch an 8:30ish flight is because Tori and NCS were calling the shots and they are WAAAAAAAAAAAY more careful and "on-time-ish" than I could ever dream of being. I had like, an entire 12 minutes before I had to board the plane and I hardly knew what to do with myself.

I wanted to tuck Millie in my purse and bring her home with me. But I don't carry a purse, so it wasn't an option. I was sad to say goodbye, but I know I'll spend time with lots of these girls in the future.

And now, hopefully I can go back to dreaming about butterflies and tulips, and no more about blogging buddies. I love you Elastic, but at 2:30 am when my 3 year old is crying out in her sleep, it's just alarming and next to impossible to stop dreaming about you and take care of my baby.

That is all.

*NCS did not really almost hit a pedestrian. That is an outright lie.


Heffalump said...

I loved the phone call. I'll try to remember to answer the phone, "Hello, this is Heffalump" in the future. I'm so glad you called me back a second time! Now I can tell people that "Nobody called me, TWICE!"
Thanks for doing a recap...I have really enjoyed reading everyone's posts about the weekend, and its nice to read up on things I missed out on.

omar said...

I saw a picture of Tori sitting on a big whale. You mean to tell me that sitting on a big whale is now automatically cool?

And in this whole big long post, there wasn't one mention of the part of the weekend where you gals shed tears while talking about all the awesome bloggers who weren't there. Is that going to be in part 2 of your recap?

Millie said...

(Quick, make up a story about us crying in our root beef for Omar!)

You are very, very dear to me. I'm not just saying that because you wanted to take me home with you, either. You just are. You make me feel SAFE. That's huge for me.

But this is about you, not me. What do you think of me? :D

Amen on everything you said about everyone. It was overwhelming at times but I wouldn't trade it for anything. There were plenty of times I felt dorky and had to tell myself to stop talking before I erased everyone's doubts with certain knowledge: "Yes, it's true. Millie is dorky." But other times it was so great...

I'm glad you had fun. :)

Amanda said...

This is my favoritist recap, and that is not just because you said so many nice things about me. I'm beginning to think that this is some conspiracy that you are all trying to build up my seriously low self esteem by telling me how beautiful and wonderful and funny I am. Hmmmm......I think I could live with that. ;)

I didn't mean to be cruel with my "try not to think about it" statement. My kids hate it when I say that. I could never get sick of Nobody, not even when she has to go really bad! I am soooo glad that you made it to the bathroom. I know how much agony you were in.

Please come see me soon!!!! Mt Rushmore and I await! :)

Tori :) said...

You "went from totally geek to totally chic" by hanging out with me. Not. I'm the biggest dork of them all. But together, WE COMPLETE EACH OTHER. I got nothin' but love for you Nobo.

Omar- You know we missed you. That is why I took that picture for you. To show you that you were missed. I'm just thinkin' your wife may not have been down with you saying "Hey- I'm flying cross country to hang out with 15 hot women..." And yes- sitting on a whale IS totally cool because I did it.

Nobody said...

Heff--I wish you could have seen me laugh right outloud when NCS was like, "uhhh, I think that's Heff's last name." i took a risk calling you back so late. I'm glad I did. :)

Omar--if you can swear on your little ninja that you read my entire post, AND will submit to a proctored exam about what was in this post, as well as details of other posts regardinging this party, I will give you names and specific incidents of tears, and awesome bloggers being mentioned.

Millie--I so know what you mean. Not only that, but I moonlight as a baseball ump, so I make a lot of people feel safe.
But really. I know what you mean. :)

Amanda--The only conspiracy I am a part of is that North Dakota does not exist. You know it's true.
Half my post is about you--what's not to love? Oh, and I'm cool.

Tori--Part of your charm is that you think/say you are a dork. Nothing could be further from the truth. I JUST learned that "chic" is pronounced "sheek". See, you even knew that before me. Of COURSE I always knew how to pronounce geek.

Yvonne said...

Now that was great. You did a wonderful job of capturing everyone. It does make me kind of sad that it is over, but memories are great. It's so fun to go and read blogs that I have never read before--I'm enjoying them so much.

I just wish I was as funny as all of you, but it's just not me. I'm hoping some of the humor rubbed off on me. (Maybe when I grow up ; ) I appreciated so much the time I had to talk with you and get to know you (wish there had been more time). I can in all honesty say, "Nobody was nice to me" ; )

Code Yellow Mom said...

ahhh...sigh...(*pining away on the east coast*)

I just have to say this: "Every now and then you run across a radiantly attractive person and you are delighted to find that she genuinely likes you. And then you realize that she genuinely likes everyone. And that's what made her radiantly attractive." Whenever I think of you, I think of that quote. Not that all these people aren't just like you described, but you just have a gift of liking and appreciating everyone. And that's why we all think you are Awesome. With a capital A.

(You're welcome for getting all skooshy and sentimental on your blog.)

Also, you're welcome for being un-Tori-ish so you could sleep sometimes in college. I now feel free to take credit for you graduating.

Millie said...

"root beef"? ROOT BEER.


And I just now got your title... apparently I'm still recovering.

aubrey said...

you win the prize of the best recap, evah! yee-ha. i second what you said about being cool by association with tori..she HAS to know how cool she is. and i think there was a typo when you wrote that i am smart. TYPO, i say. especially compared to you, genius. i loved everyone at the blog party, nobody was my favorite.

Tori :) said...

HOLD UP! Ok, so who REALLY completes you?? Me or my twin? Or does it take both of us to make you whole???

Tori :) said...

And Omar- if you saw the pic of me on the whale why didn't you comment. RUDE!!!! That's the last time I take a picture of your name made out of block. Hmmph.

Tori :) said...

I thought I was cool until you told me I seem older than 32. Now I realize I am just an old fogey trying to hang with you young whipper-snappers. ;)

Tori :) said...

One last note... I wore my Sweet Corn shirt today and thought of you Nobo!!

Klin said...

This is a great re cap. I agree with your descriptions/feelings about the other bloggers.

Of course I AM the only one who can say that "Nobody picked me up at the airport."

It was a treat. You are so cute and funny. Wait. You just said you weren't funny compared to Elastic. If I think you are funny, I must realllly un-funny.

Thanks for loving me anyway.

Miss you already.

omar said...

Millie: I'm not gonna lie, I just figured that "root beef" was some kind of delicacy in Oregon. I wasn't even going to question it.

Nobo: I've memorized everyone's recap. I've got my #2 pencil. Where's the exam?

aubrey said...

oh greeeat, tori. i knew i put my foot in my mouth when i said that. what a dork i am. you know what i meant!

carronin said...

Excellent recap but way too many words for me to read. So, I scrolled down until I saw my name. Thank you I thought you were hilarious too and so beautiful sorry for all the times you caught me staring at you.

Suzanne said...

Great recap, Nobody! It's good to know that I'm not a blanket hogger and that I have rose breath! I'm assuming...that is! ;D

Oh, I miss you! Yes, it's a good thing we weren't roommates in college. You would have had me believing everything you said for 4 years straight. Then I would have been sent out into the real world... :D

And I love that quote by Code Yellow Mom. It describes you perfectly!

MommyJ said...

Don't worry... you did a great job of not making those of us that weren't there feel really awful and terrible about ourselves and our blogs because we didn't participate in the bloggy wonderfulness that was your weekend.

Really. I haven't been crying at all.

You do have me near convinced that I need to go and read the blogs of all those amazing women who were there. All the time. Because it will make me a better person.

glittersmama said...

Hey Nobo. I loved reading this post in your voice. It made it even better! Thanks for saying such fabulous things about me. Are you sure it was me you were thinking about when you wrote it?

No Cool Story said...

This is the best recap ever.
I had tears coming (streaming? flowing?) down my cheeks.
Gracias for writing it. Blogtopia is a better place because of it.

No Cool Story said...

Dental Misfortune Glory.
You mean "Smiling Sweetly at the World", right?

ITA on everything yu wrote about everybody.
Dang! I wish I had seen you do the Star Wars theme instead of Chariots of Fire (I almost peed my pants reading that.)
Oh well, at least I heard that thing about the deaf people hearing the warning sounds.

No Cool Story said...

I don't know if Omar is going to read this, but seriously, you were the only guy blogger we talked about.
Like I always say "No Boys Allowed, except for Omar"

Lafawnduh said...

Do I smell or something?

Lafawnduh said...

That NCS and her ugly smelly 50's curtains.


Millie said...

They serve "root beef" at Grateful Bread bakery. It is indeed a delicacy. You know how those organic granola types are, never wanting to eat REAL beef... so they make their own out of roots and twigs and berries...

(See what I did there? I left a link in my comment. Bad, bad, bad.)


Dream a little dream of me.....but not too little or me and my jiggly-juggly butt may not fit into the dream sequence frame.


I'm afraid to do a recap. People will think that I'm lusting over you when I go on and on and on and on and on about how much I love you.

I do love you.....but not in a Bridget Fonda/Jennifer Jason Leigh "Single White Female" way.


Channeling Bowling For Soup:
"Come back to Texas. It just ain't the same since you went away......"

Klin said...

Hey there. I just realize that I didn't get your address to send you "the gift."

Can you email it to me a mrsmonkeybutt at q dot com

I found them! I found them! I am so excited and they are just silly little things, but very much for you all from my blog.