JJMAC

Dear Jen,

Remember when we used to talk on the phone 2, 3, 4 times a week; sometimes for an hour or two? Remember when we could do that and we probably never really had anything to say? Remember when going more than a week without talking was like forever and we were all like, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" and "I THOUGHT YOU WAS A TOAD!" when we'd talk again?

Yeah. That was cool.

But now, we don't talk as much. You told me "you'll see, when you have three kids" and I'd say, "Oh well, two kind of did us in, I think I understand." Isn't that funny? I had no idea what I was talking about. You were so sweet. You never said, "Hahahahahaha! Nobody, you're such an idiot!" That's why we are friends Jen. I had no clue of the constant, and I mean constant, interruptions. I was unfamiliar with the chaos that comes with everyday, normal activities. I never imagined I couldn't sit down for 6 minutes and sort a box that needed to be sorted and put away. How could I have known my 3 year old would actually fall head first into the box, on top of all the things I was sorting. Or that my 1 year old would screech like a banshee because he wanted to be in the box. Or on me. Or anywhere he wasn't. Because really, he just needed a nap. Or that my often tight-lipped-about-his-life 5 year old would develop a habit of talking nonstop at the most inopportune times and I can hardly hear myself think for the chaos. How could I have known?

On the upside---you read my blog now. So I'm pretty sure you'll see this. A long time ago I posted about you finally getting high speed internet. You didn't even know I posted about you because, I didn't add pictures to that post and really, you can't be bothered with my printed rambling, while having to already put up with my verbal ramblings. It's why you are my best friend, I know how far you'll go for me in this friendship. It stops at repetition. I don't blame you.

So, if I were to call you, amid the interruptions, I would tell of the 23 things I didn't accomplish today, the 3 things I did accomplish that are all undone again before sunset, how much weight I still haven't lost, and how so very tired I am. Doesn't that make you want to call me right now? Come on, just call me. I'll post a piiiiiiiiicture for you. Come on, come on!

Right now, it's 10:22. At 5:19 this afternoon, I was ready for bed. Now I can go to bed, but I won't. I won't because I revel in the solitude and I can only revel in that if I'm awake. Plus, as soon as I go to sleep, someone will show up beside my bed with wet pajamas. Or puke on themselves. Or having had a nightmare. Or cold. Yeah, cold. It's Iowa in the summer for pete sakes! Sissies.

I probably sound depressed. I'm not. Things are going well, aside from the hours of the day just whizzing by me and feeling like I don't get enough done. I love going to the Y and working out. I have some great friends here that I am so glad are a part of my life. I adore my kids and my husband even more than ever. I feel very lucky in that way.

I miss you. It's not like I can't pick up the phone and call you. I've dialed the first 5 digits of your phone number like 62 times this week. Okay, maybe not that many, but pretty much every time I've gone to, something has distracted me.

Oh yeah, and blogging? Sometimes I lay in bed an night and dream about the good ol' days when I had fun thinking of stuff to post. Or was excited to write about something that happened to me in the day. Or how sometimes I had to keep myself from posting more than once in a day. HA! Can you imagine? Now I'm reaching for something every few days. Reaching EVER.SO.FAR.

So far that now I'm posting a personal letter in lieu of blog posts. Isn't lieu a funny word? Like Lucy Lu, but with meaning. I used to think it meant something like "in regards to" and when I learned that it meant "instead of" it was so hard for me to make that mental adjustment. I always felt like I was faking it when I used it with its proper meaning. Now, it's second nature.

I kind of had a similar experience with waking up in the morning. Six years ago I would have bludgeoned anyone who tried to wake me up a second before I was ready to be awake. ESPECIALLY on a Saturday. Now I get up and run to the cribside of a stinky boy with a toothy grin and slobbery chin and I cover him in kisses and I'm happy to be there. Even though it's the buttcrack of dawn. You just have to practice at wrapping your brain around the change, and voila!

Okay. I'm really done. I'm going to bed. I know you don't sit around thinking I'm neglecting you. Another reason we are such good friends. But, I did want to say hey, and that I'm thinking about you, and well, let's talk soon. How's August 3rd looking for you?

Love ya like a sis,
Nobody
p.s. Bo calls handcuffs "handcops" and swimming trunks "undertrunks". I adore it. He's five now, so I keep thinking those cute things will come to an end. I love that they haven't. J told him the word was "handcuffs" and I made him sleep on the couch for 3 nights. The nerve.