Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Just Some Random Stuff

Sooooooo, once upon a time I was articulate, introspective, and sometimes could present a cohesive, thought-out post. I haven't felt that ability in some time now. I just keep thinking of all these little things I'd like to put on, but can't ever think of anything to wrap it up in to make it presentable.

So, without further ado, another unwrapped post. These are all things that have made me laugh heartily.

Avee: "I already ate the candy! Like it o' not, it's already gone!"

J: "I think she might be pregnant. She's either pregnant or totally crazy."

A Random Mother: "Yeah, his tooth is loose, it's pretty close to coming out. I'm going to have to make an appointment with the dentist to have it pulled." (At this point I stared at her in a kind of "I have no response to that" way) and she quickly added, "You just never know these days."

Uh, yeah-- because recently, there was an outbreak of 1st graders ending up in comas after pulling out their own loose tooth.

Read: "

Out Of Gas!

Most of you who read my blog, know that my Mom has recently had her knee replaced. A couple of days ago I went over to her house to see her, and we got to talking about Parker's party. We talked about cakes, and I asked her if she wanted to go to Wal-Mart with me, to check on prices. She agreed, if we could stop at Sams too. So off we went. Now I know what you are thinking... "They ran out of gas on the way to the store." I only wish, believe me it would have been less embarrassing!

OK, so we get into Sams and we notice that there are no automated wheel chairs (I am not sure if that is what they call them. They are the ones you drive.) There were none left. So, I told mom I would push her, and she told me that, she would just walk, that it would look funny if I pushed her. So after a few minutes of arguing of what we were going to do. An automated wheel chair became available. So we DRIVE around the store getting the few items that we needed, and visited with the ladies in the bakery, and decided that this would not be the place to purchase a cake, we started to DRIVE back, to check out. Yes! That is when in mid-sentence, I look behind me to see where mom was, and she was stopped in the middle of the isle, by the bakery. For those of you who visit Sams, know that the bakery is in the back of the store. Our conversation went something like this...

Me: What are you doing?
Mom: I stopped. I think I am out of gas.
Both laughing.

Me: Get up and walk.
Mom: No, I can't. You will have to push me.
Me: Seriously?
Both Laughing.

So, I start to push her. Both of us are laughing uncontrollably.

Me: I am so glad we decided not to get a regular wheel chair, because this is so much easier to push and a lot less humiliating. I just want to crawl under a rock and hide right now.
Mom: Stop! I can just walk.
Me: Forget it now...This reminds me of a scene straight out of a Jim Carey movie.
Mom: "Dumb and Dumber."
Me: My thoughts exactly.

We were both laughing so hard. I was just glad that there were not too many people there. It has been a while since I have been that embarrassed. My mom and I seem to have these kind of moments often, when we are together! "

And: A couple of months ago I may have "bragged" about Avee's "mad lipstick applying skills" and MommyJ may have said something about wanting to see those skills. Well, I always meant to catch some footage of it and post it, but never took the time to do it. Until today. And I must say, I stand corrected. She must have just been lucky the 2 or 3 times I actually watched her apply lipstick a couple of months ago.

And here now, we will venture into TMI land. Come with me, won't you?

Avee is officially potty-trained. Words cannot expression the joy I have in making this statement. I call it official because, she has tasted of the sweet fruit that is a clean, non-rustling rear-end, and she will not go back. She stops playing and takes herself to the bathroom. She goes to the bathroom in other people's homes and in public places. And while she likes to check out the "wares" and give them names, "That one looks like its a tow-tul!" I can't be bothered by this slightly bizarre behavior. All I can hear in my head is the delightfully sunshiney song over and over, "I don't have to clean this off of her, I don't have to buy her diapers..." There's more to that song, but I don't want to make paid songwriters feel bad by my off the cuff songwriting skillz.

So, she's getting a bike. Probably tonight. There was a little scare the other day when she didn't want to go to the bathroom and I was pressuring her to go "try". Tired of me pressuring her, she said, "I don't really want a bike anymore." I thought all hope was lost. But, we got it back together fast. I just told her that I was still going to buy the bike, but I was going to give it to Bo.

I'm quick on my feet like that.


Amy said...

I love the lipstick demo. She's got skills!

glittersmama said...

Avee is good with that tube of lipstick. I don't do that well with a mirror. Thus the gloss.

And woohoo for no more rustle-butt on Avee!

Liz said...

IN LOVE with the smile after she put it on. that is hilarious!

Traci said...

Just remind Bo not to change out of the skin he's in before graduation day.

"single, double, triple" is soooo cute...isn't it funny all the random things there are to learn - interesting to see a person learn them for the first time...You should teach him "One is the loneliest number..." he, he, he.

PhD in funny good mom skillz.

P.S. I like "unwrapped post." The phrase and the post.

Beckie said...

SNEEZING PANADA IS AWESOME!!!!! I mean that little bear almost took off! LOL! And Avee putting lipstick on, is awesome too, I love your "I have to laugh but I can't let her see me" sort of laugh. BTW that's the exact reason I din't do lipstick. AND don't you just love potty trained childern? DOn't ya wish they would come allready potty trained?

S said...

K that was too funny. Avee has mick jagger lips! Whoo hoo! Tell her dada has loaded her up with video's! Sorry:)

No Cool Story said...

I'm scared of TMI Land.

No Cool Story said...

"You just never know these days."
HAHAHAHAHA!! Pure gold.

Oh please describe in full detail what your face looked like after this statement.

No Cool Story said...

Grandma will be proud of Avee's mad skillz.

I expect a box of lisptick (all colors under the sun) to arrive at your crib soon.

iowamom said...

I am pretty sure that pregnancy and total craziness go hand in hand...

Cindy said...

Yeah Avee...and Mom. I am so proud of you both. I heard it is not easy, but it seems like it did not take her long before she was fully trained. It must have been the bike!!

Tori :) said...

Coul she teach Livie how to apply lipstick? Liv gets it all over the place, under her eye lids, in her ear...

Nobody you're so awesome. I can't wait til this summer!

That is all.

The Child Family said...

MAD SKILLS! I think that should have been the title :)

Great Job Avee! I need to come and see the new bike!


as much as possibly normal.

Suzanne said...

Yay for potty training being complete! Now the only thing you need to be worried about is if she tries to put on the lipstick while on the potty! :)

The panda totally startled me! I love how the mom just goes back to eating afterwards like nothing happened! :)

Kikibug said...

CUTE post, I love the randomness about it. The panda thing scared me, then I laughed. Avee's lipstick demo was the best. LOL! I love how she was actually teaching you how to. SO CUTE!

Sketchy said...

That girl is too cute! Love the big lipstick grin. And yay!!!!!!!!! for the potty training.

Good job on the quick thinking.

Cindy said...

I feel so special that you have a link to my blog on your blog. I am glad you liked that post. When I got home that day, I told Ben that story and he said, "That was not that funny." So, I was worried that no one else would think it was funny. You are the QUEEN of funny, so it makes me happy to know that you liked it too!

Physcokity said...

I like the unwrapped post as well as Avee's mad lipsticking skillz.

2 thumbs up...fine holiday fun!