Things I Just Have To Record

Often when I don't want to do something, instead of coming off as lazy or uncaring, I ask Bo, "Do you want me or Daddy to....?" and 98% of the time, Bo chooses Daddy. I know this about him. I don't ever pose that question with the other two because I am the sun the moon the stars and the squishy jungle gym for the other two. The only thing I win over J with, is snuggling. I always get picked for that. Again, the squishiness.

Anyway, Bo has a little St. Patrick's Day race thingy coming up and I sweetly asked, "Who do you want to run it with you, me or Dad?" When he chose J, I dramatically protested.
"Why?! Why not me!? You know I'm prettier than Daddy, don't you want a pretty person to run with you!?" Bo gave me a look I often see on J's face that says, "I think you are joking but I'm not sure, and I'm afraid to laugh in case you aren't." So I asked Bo, "Who's smarter, me or Dad?"

"Daddy is."
"WHATEVER!"
"You didn't know trees could be male or female!"
"Neither did you!" Knowing full well I was accusing a 6 year old of not being as smart as a 32 year old.

So I thought I'd show Bo that we are all smart in different ways. "Hey Daddy, what season am I on the color wheel?"
J answers confidently "Winter."
"Ha! Not even close!"

They both stared at me like I was ridiculous. Because I am.

"See, even I know things that Daddy doesn't know."

To which Bo proclaimed the most truthful statement that has ever been uttered, "Yeah, things about YOU!"

And Bo won that round.

The other day we were all sitting on the couch, the kids may have been vying for space on the highly coveted, and rarely accommodating lap, when Bo accidentally bumped Danyo. Danyo who is still hard to understand at times, often speaks very quietly if he does speak, and rarely more than the requisite minimum, pointed sternly toward the door, scowled at Bo and commanded, "Get. Out. My. House. Bo!"

We all laughed at such authority from the smallest member of our family. Where in the heck do they come up with this stuff?! Pretty sure I haven't kicked anyone out of my house recently...

Today Bo did a trial run for the upcoming race. I thought he would run the equivalent of about a quarter mile, at most. He ran an entire mile. He pushes himself and really likes to learn how to do things right and well, but running doesn't come naturally to him. You may think that's an odd thing to say, but probably not if you've met either of us in real life. When J asked him how it was he started with a rote, "Good--" and then cut it short and switched to "Heartpounding!"

I love his little exploration of words. Which actually leads me to another hilarious conversation I overheard the other day. It's a little crass if you are offended by the subject of "bathroom humor" so skip to the end if you are. :)

Avee is really into "tricking" people lately. "Do you sink my toes are moving inside my boots?"
"Yes"
"AHAHA! They aren't, I TRICKED YOU!"

She does that about everything.

So it was not unusual that she thought of yet another thing to "trick" us with. This is the conversation I heard:

Avee: Bo, do you sink I'm going to toot?
Bo: Uh, yeah.
Avee: I am!! HAHAHAHA I tri--! Heeeey, no fay-yoh! You weren't supposed to guess yes! You can't tell if I'm going to toot!
Bo:It doesn't matter if I know or not. If you ask me if you are going to toot, eventually you are going to, so the answer will always be yes.

That's when I interrupted and said, "Did you really just say the word 'eventually'?" Later the actual content of the conversation had me in tears. Predictable Avee, outwitted by logical Bo.

Oh yeah, this one I posted to FB and have told about eleventy-billion people about it, but I need it recorded forever.

About a week ago we were all puttering around on Saturday morning. Bo is often working on a project at the table or the computer, drawing, writing a story, crossword puzzles, etc. Out of nowhere he asks, "What would win in a contest of more important, gravity or Martin Luther King?"

J and I are getting really good at not laughing right out loud anymore. Really good.

I of course had no answer, so later I asked him what he thought the answer was. He stated matter-of-factly that gravity was the obvious winner, because without it we would all be floating around everywhere.

So I asked then what would happen without Martin Luther King.

"Well, Shawn just wouldn't be in my class."

There you have it, in case your children ever pose this question or even if you ever make it onto Jeopardy or Smarter Than a Fifth Grader---you can say Nobody taught you nothin'.