Sunday, March 7, 2010

I Have No Title

The other day I was telling a friend about a conversation I'd had with Avee. She's been very sweet and somewhat sensitive of late. This particular conversation, she prefaced something she was going to ask me with, "I can do whatever I want you know." I distractedly responded with, "Well, actually you can't. As long as you live with me and dad, you have to follow our rules. When you grow up and move out, you can do what you want." I'm happy to say that I didn't bitterly add, "and being a grown-up on your own sucks". Mostly because I'm classy and don't say the word "sucks".

About two minutes later Avee popped up next to me. Her eyes were red. Her lower lip was trembling. Big ol' tears were streaming. She stared up at me pathetically. This is how Avee expresses her sadness to me. No words, no mournful sobs, no verbal accusations. Just the powerful, powerful accusation of her desperately sad face. She widens her eyes for effect, and the message of her expression is, "Do you see what you have done to me? Are you happy now!?"

I was startled by this. This time. I hadn't scolded, I hadn't told her no tv, I hadn't told her no "Robin Noodles". I didn't think I had done anything.

"Avee! What's wrong? Why are you so sad?"
She flung herself on me and sobbed, "You said I was going to move out. I don't ever want to move out!" I assured her she could live with us until she was 47 if she wanted, while simultaneously assuring J with my expression and a few head shakes that we'd be free of children sooner. I walk such a tightrope around here!

When I told my friend about this, she suggested I write it down. I kind of laughed. I pretty much have the whole "writing every blessed thing down" mastered. Then she told me about a hope chest type thing she did for her daughter, and gave to her on her "golden" birthday. She collected things from all the places they had lived (they had been military, so they had lived in more exotic places than Iowa and Provo) and other little meaningful things.

I thought this was such a fantastic idea. I thought about all the things I could get at Wal-mart over the years....

Really, I did think it was a great idea. I contemplated buying little books to write down what the kids say and do. Then I thought of all the pressure of finding just the right book. Then I thought of keeping track of the book. Remembering to record things. Actually paying attention to my kids...

It all seems like more work than I'm willing to do. So I'll just blog.

J went to Missouri this weekend for a quick trip. It's just me and the kids. I was hoping that J would take the kids and it would just be me and the cherry coke. But the trip ended up being a shorter one than we initially planned, and Avee and Bo weren't buying into that. It's about a six hour drive and they've done it enough to know one day in Missouri isn't enough for 12 hours of driving.

So, since J's gone and he gets to enjoy two days of no whining, no diapers, no stupid tv shows, no fighting, and no messes, AND doesn't have to be around the kids either---I've gone and rebelled.

We went and got a betta. I just took Bo. I thought he'd be thrilled, but he was acting pretty nonplussed about it. Then as we were leaving the first store we went to (I was price matching) he started singing and dancing about getting a betta. So I guess he's just a slower processor.

Anyway, we got a lovely blue betta. As we were driving home Bo was thinking of names. I was hoping he would name the fish something crazy, like "Van Gogh". He was thinking, "Zach". Which cracked me up. So I jokingly suggested his best friend's name. He hesitated a moment and I got nervous about having a fish named Caleb. Then he said, "That would be a little weird, how about Joe!?" Which is Caleb's older brother. So, Joe it is!

This morning when we woke up, Joe was dead.

I could NOT believe it. I mean, goldfish are notorious for this kind of thing, and I've kept goldfish alive longer than that!!!

If you are in the least bit inclined to criticize me or scold me even REMOTELY about not keeping a fish alive---you should probably just step away from the keyboard. I will make fun of you mercilessly for months. I will probably even hunt you down and throw our future dead bettas at you when you go to get in your car. Every day. For a long time.

I just had to put that out there because as I was googling "How can I tell if my betta is really really dead?" there was all kinds of crazy talk as though people like me were willingly participating in the gross and cruel practice of fishocide. How do people like that function in the real world!?

Anyway. I think we'll try again. Maybe not a betta.

RIP Joe. I truly hope you really were dead.

15 comments:

SAHM Scrapper said...

Hmmm. You killed my son's name sake. I'm not sure how I feel about that...and what that implies about our friendship.

Kristi Clinger said...

I'm sorry for you families loss.

Kristi Clinger said...

I do have to say.... I did laugh a little bit.

Sarah Tilley said...

maybe you should've spent a little more on a quality fish. ;)

Barnecked Lady said...

DID YOU COMPLETELY FORGET YOU LIVED IN TEXAS!??!?!?!?!?!?! I couldn't even finish your blog I was so upset, no wonder your fish died! ;)

Sherry said...

Are you going to get a refund on the fish? We have a goldfish that lives on and on. One day he is floating and the next day he is swimming. Hmmmm? OH ya' i'm not bragging about my ability to keep fish alive... but next time call me if you have a question. ;)

NOBODY said...

Barnecked Lady, you are hilarious. I mean, I'm sorry I've offended you. I've also lived in Saint Louis and California. It's just that, those three places can't be made fun of as "un-exotic" like Iowa and Provo can.

I'm sorry. I hope we can still be friends.

Barnecked Lady said...

I'll think about it................

Rebecca said...

I think I pee'd my pants.. when I read that you got a betta fish.. I said.. that fish is dead. and sure enough.. dead. But I am not making fun of your keeping alive fish. cause your kids prove you can keep things alive.. those bettas are like balloons to me.. will only end up bad.. bad I tell ya!!

Rebecca said...

and Avee living with you forever.. love it.. Broderick told me once that he would marry Addison and buy the house next door. He would deny it today. But I know he said it.. because I blog..

Charlotte said...

I'm calling fish protective services. Fish killing is a real problem, that fish could have lived a long, happy life in the wild. (Long meaning probably not even making it past hatching).

I don't think I would even comfort a child with pretending to let them live for 47 years. Just the thought has made me a little ill.

mary ann said...

So, um, my husband is out of town too, but I was thinking of getting our daughter's ears pierced while we was away. Nobody, tell me how this could possibly go wrong. I don't want to have to do a lot of explaining when he gets back.

okierivermama said...

LOL we had a betta. It died because 5 wanted to hug it. You can't hug a betta.
Steff

Super L said...

You. Are. Funny.

It took me till the second betta paragraph to realize what a betta was. I was all, "bet-ta? Beh-tah? What the crap?"

I'm sorry I said crap in your comments.

Sharon said...

I had to comment, even though this is an older post, because we had a beta fish death in the family last week, too. We'd had this one for about a year and a half, though, so I win. :) On the other hand, I lose, because our lives are so busy that I put off breaking the news to my daughter (my older three knew) for a couple of days, just because we didn't have time for an emotional display. That is a sad statement about our life. So the dead fish floated around in the bowl for a couple of days, and I hoped she wouldn't notice until we had time to deal with the tragedy. And when it came down to it, she wasn't even that upset. Whatever.