Sunday, October 4, 2009

I Can't Be Perfect ALL The Time!

Sometimes it takes the absence of something, to realize what you have. I realized the other night that J is always right there being supportive and not laughing at my stupidity. Infrequent as it may be.

Until Friday night.

Any of you who know Bo or have read this blog for a while, may have noticed he has the tendency to obsess over things. Spiderman, numbers, Mario Kart, Barack Obama, Pokemon, and now it's Harry Potter. His every thought is consumed by thoughts of HP and all the characters. If he watches the movies, he's following along in the books, finding which chapter in the book they are on. He asks specific questions about characters or storylines that I'm fairly certain even JK Rowling didn't think about. He reported on Obama's speech to the elementary schools that "JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter". That is all he recalled for me. He lives, breathes, dreams, and wishes he could eat it. That's how he rolls.

On Friday Bo and Avee had some friends over and their mom stayed to visit as well. As the kids were running around the house like wild animals Bo was chasing after the sweet girls, yelling, "avada kedavra!" at them.

A small part of me didn't care. Another small part of me was bothered that my son was "pretending" to kill people. And there was a good part of me that thought I was being dumb to even let it register. And another tiny part of me worried bit that it would bother my friend that he was doing this to her girls.

So I told him not to do it anymore. And yes, I felt a little sheepish telling my 6 year old "We don't do death curses in our home". I even had to tell him more than once.

I thought about it a lot throughout the evening, wondering if the logical part of my brain (you're being dumb Nobody) was right or wondering if the "My kids must always appear perfect" part of my brain was right.

So that night, as J and I were getting ready for bed, I brought it up. That's what marriage is for, right? Sounding boards, feedback, insights...

I said, "Bo was doing the avada kedavra curse today and I told him not to do it. I'm not sure if I really care, and I kind of felt dumb thinking it mattered...."

I heard J stifling laughter. He's not a very good stifler.

"Well," says I, "I don't really want him running around 'pretend killing' other kids---"

J interrupted, "WHAT!? He did it in front of the muggles!!!?"

And that's when I knew what the absence of support felt like, and how regularly J doesn't let me feel stupid.

There are just some things you can't fake.

22 comments:

Bubbles said...

First.

Bubbles said...

That was really funny, and one of the kinds of things I would probably argue with myself over as well. Except it's slaying things with light-sabers around here. "Please don't pretend to cut your friends in half anymore" or "Please don't pretend to cut off your friend's head again..."

Klin said...

Oh how I look forward to meeting up with you. The children's museum is going to be so dang fun with your kids.

I am astonished that I don't know that I can say that kids shouldn't put curses on their friends. I mean what does that curse do or mean anyway?

InkMom said...

Please tell J that my husband and I will be joining him in laughter for the next several hours. Except ours will totally not be stifled. THe muggles! The man is a genius. You can tell him that, too.

Mrs. Organic said...

I am so kicking myself that I didn't get to meet you this summer. And your husband is priceless!

Sister Pottymouth said...

That was the best comeback I've read in a looooong time!!! Awesome, J. I also cracked up imagining you saying, "We don't do death curses in our home." I am glad I got to meet you in person--I can picture you so much easier when I read your posts. ;-)

(I don't like it when my kids pretend to do death curses either. Wingardium leviosa is fine, but no green light stuff, please.)

Heffalump said...

#4 got in trouble for sneaking a set of chopsticks to school to use as pretend wands...I feel your pain.
I haven't seen any killing curses flying around here though...yet.

Code Yellow Mom said...

I can't wait to know when Bo's school puts "No death curses" on their behavioral policy. You know they will have to at some point. That will make me laugh even harder. :)

Charlie came up with shooting with his little pointer finger when someone or something makes him mad...He did it the first time in London when Calvin and Henry were gone (they haven't done anything like that in recent memory anyway)and I was baffled. It makes me laugh (which I do stifle so as not to encourage) because he tries to look mean and he can't possibly, but when he did it at the beauty salon at the lady who would not quit googooing in his face, she was appalled and fearful for his future. Oops.

Sarah Tilley said...

maybe i'm a terrible mother because i could care less when henry and his friends pretend to chop each other up, or shoot each other, or curse each other, etc. the only time i felt inclined to stop the behavior was once when i got the disapproving vibe from another mom. it's all pretend and the kids know it, they all love and trust each other not to really kill or curse or chop; they're having fun. so when henry and i have our light saber fights i dare anyone to tell me i shouldn't pretend to disembowel my son while he's trying his best to decapitate me. ;)

Sarah Tilley said...

but i do have to say i won't let him shoot or aim projectile weapons at people. henry knows that if getting shot in the butt with a nerf ball launcher kind of hurts, getting hit in they eyeball would be much worse.

mycurlyhairdays said...

Just laughing and laughing! I think R will get a kick out of that!!! (0:

Barnecked Lady said...

Funny stuff!

Cindy said...

It is possible....I know....

S said...

Awe man I didnt read Harry Potter! But you are perfect all the time. Perfect in every way.

Sketchy said...

Tell him it's an unforgiveable curse and you're about to send him to Azkaban.

He's a boy...he'll be pretending to kill people for at least 3 more years...minimum.

Is it too obvious that after my 3 boys I've given up on many things? "Just don't actually kill people!"

Yvonne said...

J's comment: BRILLIANT. I love it.

Eve said...

I really enjoyed hearing that story in person and meeting you and your fam. And I just wanted to apologize for getting the time wrong and telling you it was 3:15 when it was really 2:15! I was on GA time still on my phone and I felt really bad about it, although I didn't realize it until later that evening after I had done it to someone else :)

Charlotte said...

My husband give me those looks (and laughs) all the time. I need to work on his training a little so he only does it occasionally. That would totally be easier than training myself to act normal all the time.

Adolescent Family said...

LOL! SO FUNNY! 'not in front of the muggles' I'm totally using that. :)

Tori said...

Um... what's a muggle?

I think you are perfect.

Emily said...

"in front of muggles". . .
guttural laughter - my stitches hurt.

I have also had a few awkward "don't pretend to kill" conversations with my boys. Most of which involved me botching the whole thing by inadvertently putting even more ideas and vocabulary into their heads. . .

Tiffany said...

oh man, I just laughed so hard my eyes are watering. Your husband is funny funny funny. So are you. Sorry I have not commented in a while but I have missed you. You make me laugh and even make me feel like a good normal mom.