On Heaven

Bo: Mom, are there sabertooth tigers in heaven?
Me: Uhhhh, I doubt it.
Bo: (a little distressed) Well, I mean, where do they go when they die and are eggstinct?
Me: Ohhh, probably Animal Heaven.
Bo: Oh good. So there are animals in heaven. That's cool. Maybe I'll get to have a pet when I go to heaven. I sure hope I go to heaven. I think I'd be really lonely if I didn't.
Me: Oh Bo, you're going to heaven. You are a good boy, you don't hurt other people, you keep the commandments, you won't be the kind of person who does bad things, like hurt or kill people.
Bo: Well, Nephi killed someone bad and that pretty much got him straight up to heaven.
Me: True, true. But you don't need to be worrying about whether you will go to heaven or not. You're in buddy.
Bo: I'm pretty excited to meet Nephi since I know he'll be there.
Me: Oh yeah. I'm not sure who I'm excited to meet. Let me think...
Bo: I'll be excited to see K-K. He's gonna die before me.
Me: What!? You know something I don't know?
Bo: Well, he's six, so he's going to die befoh me since I'm still five.
Me: Ha! You're funny Bo.
Bo: Unless of course...I die fohst.
Me: Go brush your teeth.

Texas, Where I Ate A Whatnot

My baby refused to talk to me while I was gone. He gets all teenage-daughter on me when I leave him.

Avee licked my big toe when I got back. I might be embarrassed to admit that I'm related to someone who does stuff like that---but it's all part of the package. She's adorable and completely crazy. I actually had to say the words, "I can't let you down there looking at my toes if you are going to lick it again." The worst part of that was-- it was in public. I don't have any problem laughing at and being grossed out by my own kids. In the privacy of our own home. But when perfect strangers have to witness it? That's just wrong.

I focused on leaving "Mom" behind and living up the "Nobody" identity. Well, not really that identity. If you know my real name, you can replace it. I think I did a good job. Aside from the times I tried to comb Tori's hair and help her find her jammies. And then there was the time I tried to help No Cool Story find her mama. True story.

I had a wonderful time in Texas. I got to see my "old" friends and spend time with my more recent internet relationshipal friends. Relationshipal is too a word.

I stayed a night with this friend. And DUDE that girl can make me laugh. I enjoy every second I get to hang with her.

Then I walked over to this friend's house. She's on bed rest but the sweet girl moved to the living room just for me. I've known her for about 13 years and every time we get together, it's like we've never lived apart. I love having friends like that.

Then this friend joined us for pedis the next day. It was very fun. They asked Beckie uh, about 7 times if she wanted her eyebrows done. Weird thing is, her eyebrows really did look fine.

But that's okay, my pedicurist out of nowhere said to me, "I'm sorry we don't have any food for you." I guess my "resting face" is actually more of a "hungry face".

I had Pho. Best pho ever. Tori's a big vietnamese chicken and wouldn't try any. Ironically, she had the chicken. Okay, that's not ironic. And she's not vietnamese either.

We got lost a lot. The only two people in the world with a sense of direction as bad as mine, were with me, as we tried to find places and things and people. It was kind of funny sometimes. Other times, more nauseating. You never realize how hard on the stomach all that turning around can be. Until you live it. I.Lived.It.

I slept for 3 hours before I flew out Monday morning. I was really really tired at 1 AM but I just couldn't give it up. Going to sleep that early would just make the trip shorter. So I started talking. Nonstop. NCS humored me with sweet little responses now and then. "Oh that's hordeeble"
"Wow."
"It is." And whatnot.

Three. Hours. Later.
Tori woke up and said, "Are y'all still talking!?" When we said that we were, she yelled, "I AM the third wheel!" It was really funny. Because I'm not sure I've ever had a more drama-less, easygoing, pleasant, communion with two friends for 4 days, like what we experienced. I really tried to find a different word than communion, but that's all I could come up with. Anyway, I thought it was funny when she said that.

Then she joined the conversation and I promptly fell asleep. It was 5 am. I just couldn't help it.

After J picked me up at the KC airport (he and the kids stayed and played with our families) we headed back up to Iowa. My sister called me and after we talked for about 2 minutes (I was in a
drunken stupor from lack of sleep) she said, "Well, I guess if you aren't going to give me any details, I'm hanging up now." I suddenly realized I should be telling her about my trip.

But how does one glamorize "I ate, we talked, we got lost, we went back to our hotel room by 8 o'clock, we slept in and we ate and talked and ate and talked?"

I love Tori and NCS. They is good people. There was not one minute I didn't enjoy or wish I was somewhere else. I'm not sure they could say the same, but this is my story.

Sunday night, Tori's husband made dinner for us. He is every bit as wonderful as she writes that he is on her blog. And they are very cute together. But anyway, where was I? Oh yeah---I had gone about 4 days without doing anything for anyone but myself, so I offered to serve up her 5 year old's plate of food. I asked him every little thing he wanted and he told me and then when I put the plate down in front of him he said, "Uh, I didn't order this" pointing to a portion of food. I thought that was hilarious and then Tori said, "It's hard to get good service these days, isn't it Taj?"

You know those kind of homes you go into and you immediately feel comfortable? And when you were a kid, if you went into that home, you wanted to be adopted into the family? And if there was a kid your age in the family, you followed them around and stole sweaty clothing from their gym bags...oh just kidding.

Tori's home is like that. We immediately felt comfortable and welcomed, and NCS became Liv's new best friend. I was a rejected food server, but NCS was an immediate bff. Whatever. 'Sall good.

I won't bore you with the minutiae of my trip. I will say it was every bit as wonderful as I hoped it would be, and I had very high hopes.

I've always wanted to use the word minutiae.

I'm thankful for good friends who brighten my days. And fill my nights, with song.

Thank you to my wonderful husband who did such a great job of keeping the kids alive and happy. Thank you to my mom who helped keep them fed. And thank you to my sister for letting them invade her house. That just isn't easily done when you are 9 months pregnant.

I have to go now. Avee just offered me "some hugs and kisses" if I help her make a fort.

Hellllllooooo

Some of my favorites this week:

"Come on mom! Let's race. But don't go in front of me and be slower than me."

"Hi Danyoooo, oh you cute boy, come here, who's mama's cute boy? Oops. Heh. I mean, who's Avee's cute boy?"

And my friend's 9 year old daughter after discovering the joys of cookie dough at our house: She and Bo and Avee were all three taking turns sneaking into the kitchen and getting mouths full. I finally got after all three and said pretty sternly, "Stop getting into it, I don't want another person touching it!" She answered, with complete sincerity, "I'm sorry, I won't be able to stay out of it, you're just going to have to hide it."

I am heading out of town, tomorrow. We're going to visit the aunt and uncle and grandmas and grandpas. My kids are really really really excited. I am ditching everyone too and having a child-free weekend. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

I am going to sleep in.
I am going to eat my meals slowly and not share a single bite with anyone.
I am not going to cut anyone's food.
I'm going to read more than 2 paragraphs at a time.
I am going to take showers without someone either hollering outside the door, or climbing on everything inside the bathroom.
I'm not going to say "Because I said so" for at least two full days.
I'm gonna get my toes pertified.
I'm not going to spend one single minute trying to figure out why the almost two year old won't stop yelling or crying.
I will only buckle myself into a car for at least 4 days straight.
I won't have to make Bo practice the violin.
I don't have to go to work.
I won't have to watch kid shows.
I will get lost at least 17 times.
I will miss J.
I will miss my kids.
But not enough to stay with them. :)

I doubt I will blog before then, but I won't make any promises.
Have a great week!

Follow-Up And Linky Love

I wanted to follow up briefly on my last post. I appreciate all the comments, advice, suggestions, and offers to...burn places down.

I may not have been entirely clear. While it is troubling to me that Bo was choked at school, my issue was never with the boy. He is a little guy, and Bo actually really likes him (despite my efforts to get him to go elsewhere for companionship) and the kid isn't singling out Bo to hurt him. He just doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself and Bo is always right there. The kid doesn't even typically have bad intent---he's just a boy with probably an awful home life and has no idea what kinds of behaviors are completely inappropriate, and what kinds aren't. Bo has never felt bullied or picked on by him. Even when he came home with a bloody nose, he was sad from being hurt, but was pretty much over it by the time he got to me. I can't say I entirely understand Bo's willingness to keep going right back into the lion's den with this kid---but some lessons have to be learned on your own, I guess.

My problem always has been, and remains---the school's inability to deal with any kind of problem, appropriately. They have a very strict policy of "punish now, ask questions...never". And it's not acceptable to me.

The principal called J (after being unable to reach me yesterday because I was getting my hair did and some serious, serious pampering) and J made our position clear and had a relatively normal conversation with the man. J used a word I'd never heard before. I gave J a high five for sounding smart so effortlessly.

Then the principal had to inform J that the poor little kid had just gotten suspended from school. How exactly a school can find justification to suspend a 5 year old, I don't know. But some of you might not share that opinion with me. Bo was involved in the incident (the kid flashed him and another boy and supposedly said something "vulgar") so I am a little concerned that my bringing up this same child's involvement in all of Bo's issues, and then the subsequent flashing, was what got him suspended. I really hope not. My heart breaks a little for that boy, and I sort of have to put it out of my mind, because really---what can I do?

From this, we can learn, the school really does have a zero tolerance policy on flashing.

I tried to get as many details from Bo last night, as far as his involvement in all of it, went. It was as effective as trying to get a donkey to read a sonnet. To be fair, it was an hour past his bedtime, but seriously, he couldn't hold himself upright, he couldn't complete a sentence, and when it seemed like he was about to complete a sentence, he'd stop and ask, "What was your question again?"

I bring this up to tell you something else. I got my hair colored and it's about 52 shades darker than my normal hair color. It's quite a drastic change. This was how my hair looked last night when I tried to get the donkey to recite prose. He was on my lap. Most of the time. We were inches from each other's faces when I was trying to get him to focus. We spent about 15 minutes very close.

This morning he climbed in my bed and snuggled with me for about 45 minutes. He awake, me asleep.

Later I came downstairs and talked to him about getting dressed and finding his library book and what he wanted for breakfast.

And THEN, after all of that, he came downstairs with his clothes on and said, "WOW! What did you do to your hair! It looks TOTALLY different! How did you DO THAT! Avee, look, mom changed her hair like magic."

If I wasn't a veteran at having a completely brilliant, unbelievably dense child---I might not have been able to get past what happened this morning.

The best part? He did not believe me when I listed all the conversations we'd had in the last 12 hours when my hair looked like this already.

But it's okay, cuz you know, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not the one who knows everything in this relationship.

Okay, nextward.

I've read a couple of posts in the last week that I have loved. So I want to share them with you.

I've realized since becoming a mother, that there are few other "professions" in life that people are more critical of. I don't really understand our need to criticize another's best efforts in parenting. But it's rampant. I'm certainly guilty of it myself, so don't let me lead you to think I'm not. I become considerably less critical/judgmental with each new "adventure" with my own children (poop smeared walls, booger eating, screaming tirades, entire package of Reese's eating, etc).

Emily is the wife of J's best friend. We lived in Texas near each other for a little while so I got to know her a little better---but nothing like the bloggity blogness world to help us get to know each other even better. I love her style, and I have a lot of respect for her as a person, think she's an excellent mother, and I love this post: Dear Soccer Mom

If that's not enough to convince you, this is another one of my favoritest posts ever. It's a bit older, but wooee! It still moves me.

The other is my very good friend Code Yellow Mom who moved to Ukraine about 6 months ago. She's an incredible writer. Always has been since I've known her. Going on 16 years. Her oldest is about 6 months older than Bo, and I find myself often reading about Cal, and mentally preparing for where Bo will be in about 6 months. Given this story, I can only hope we are raising Bo as well as Cal is turning out to be.
It's here.

The end.

Tax Day Was Hard On Bo

Turns out the "Zero Tolerance Policy For Violence" at my son's school, only applies to my son, and not to the kid who's whaled on him several times already this year. The same one who's gotten him sent to the detention room for the second time this year. The detention room that is outlined in the student manual as their last resort after "a suitable number of interventions are tried with no success". Yeah, the one they send kids to left and right because precious few of the staff members there actually know how to deal with kids. Bo's teacher has never sent him to the skills room.

I don't have any real issue with this obnoxious kid. Other than thinking he's obnoxious and wishing my son would just stay away from him to save himself the trouble---but he's just that, an obnoxious little 5 year old boy with some serious impulse control problems. Bo only has mild impulse control problem.

N E Way.

Bo brings home a detention referral form and is hesitant to give it to me. I reassure him that whatever he has to show me isn't going to make me love him any less. Turns out, he's not so concerned about the "love" as much as he is about the "yelling" and whatnot.

I would totally scan the paper and show you all, but my scanner won't work.

Is it Mercury Retrograde or something?

It says "Bo had another students necklace around his neck, a different student pulled the necklace. Bo turned around and punched the student."

Heck yes he did!

And I hope the sweet boy has the sense to do it the next an obnoxious kid tries to choke him.

I actually didn't have an issue with any of it, it bugs me that he's going to detention, but he actually wasn't upset about it, so I wasn't going to worry.

Then I started getting annoyed that this kid keeps getting Bo in trouble. Turns out, no one actually saw the incident. The punk kid tattled that Bo punched him. AND the only reason the other kid got in trouble too is because Bo had a red ring around his neck from being choked, so there was evidence that the punch was instigated

Guess what else? Nearly 4 hours later, Bo still had a red ring along one whole side of his neck. To me, that indicates some serious chokage going on. And a definite need for a punch in the gut.

And what is the whole "Bo had another students necklace around his neck" business? Is that supposed to make him more culpable for getting choked. "Oh now Bo, if you just weren't wearing your friends necklace, none of this would have happened."

So, I got a babysitter for my two sleeping kids and took Bo up there. Bo has an incredible memory and I didn't want anyone trying to tell me things were different. My friend encouraged me to go in and make it clear to them that Bo would not be getting in trouble at home for defending himself. It really bothered me that they downplayed the necklace "pulling". Bo was choked and there is no way that wasn't obvious.

The first person I saw was the lady who tried to lie to me last time there was an issue. I'm sure she was less than thrilled to see me. She pulled me into a side room and we spoke. I kept it kind, but DUDE that was an exercise. Maybe I won't need to work out today....

Her are some things she said that I took issue with:
She pointed out again that it was someone else's necklace that Bo was wearing.
I tilted my head and furrowed my brow slightly and said, "I'm not sure I understand why that even matters?"
She just shrugged and moved on.
I told her he would not be getting in trouble at home.Then she told me part of the problem is that the child is being told something different at home than at school.
I laughed and said, "I can assure that's not the problem here and I absolutely will encourage my son to do whatever necessary--physically or not-- to get back the ability to breathe, regardless of who is taking it from him."

Then she told me he had the wherewithal to turn and punch the kid, then he should have had the ability to get away and tell an adult.

I said, "I have two responses to that. First of all, my son gets in trouble for such minor infractions, things that wouldn't be against the rules in any other place on earth, that he's actually afraid to approach the staff. Wouldn't he be breaking the rules to get out of line and get help? And secondly: I'm thirty-mumble mumble years old and this weekend my 4 year old accidentally head butted me in the face. I literally had to sit on my hands and close my eyes to keep from throwing her across the room. Now, you're telling me a 5 year old boy who's being hurt like that is supposed to have that kind of self-restraint when he's being hurt?"

She agreed but reiterated that he should tattle.

Yes Bo, I want you to grow up to be a sissy graduate of Stupid Sissy-Breeding School.

At another point she was commenting on how she documents and records everything that happens and then made the mistake of saying, "Anything you want to know about your son, I could tell you."

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why does he pee a little on himself to buy time to play outside more? Why does he still melt my heart when he talks to me? Why does he keep playing with the class bully?

So I said, "So, you could tell me why he was kicked in the face and given a bloody nose by this kid and then when it was brought to a teacher's attention (not his) the teacher said, 'hurry home so you don't get any blood on your clothes' instead of cleaning him up and dealing with the naughty kicker?"

She said, "Did he tell someone about this?"

Well, let's see. I know about it. And uh, the teacher who told him to hurry home. So yes, I'd say he did tell "someone".

And I wanted to say, "What? You didn't know about this?" But I was determined to keep the conversation productive.

Anyway, it was a less effective use of my time. Next time I'm going to go up there, sign in, put on a visitor tag, and then walk over to the wall and bang my head on it. Hard. For like 8 full minutes. And then I'll take off my tag, sign out, and tell them, "I just wanted to save all of us some time and trouble."

The main things that are important: Bo knows that sometimes stupid stuff happens even if you didn't really do anything wrong. He knows that we are on his side all the time, always. He knows that we do not encourage being a tattle tale, and sometimes taking care of yourself however necessary, is the best answer. He knows that Mama laughs when people are dumb, even when she probably shouldn't.

I mentioned when we first got there that I was concerned that their zero tolerance policy on violence wasn't working out so great, particularly for my son.

When I was leaving I told her, "I will let him fulfill the lunch detention even though I do take issue with a 5 year old losing 1 of his only 2 recesses." I wanted it to be clear that he would be doing the detention because I said it would be okay. And I also said, "When can I expect to hear from Mr. Principal with your action plan to keep my son from getting hurt by another child's hand." I decided I would make Bo the victim (even though I don't think he is and Bo doesn't think he is) so they'd have to provide answers for me.

Honestly, if Bo got hurt once a week from this kid, I'd probably turn it into a life lesson and we'd deal with it. But this incessant need his school has to see someone punished, is making me insane.

I made J sign the form because I want to send the message that we are both involved.

And J wrote on the bottom, "Bo was probably upset by the US Tax code. We're making him write to Congress." and circled the date "April 15, 2009"

Methinks my husband has very little respect for the school's policy.

Today Is Tuesday

So, Avee's at the stage where pretty much everything that comes out of her mouth makes me laugh. Sadly, it's coupled with her complete frustration with being laughed "at". I have to stifle SO MUCH, and it's painful. But these are things I want recorded, so I may just start every post with a quote, regardless of whether or not it matches the rest of the content.

Oh yeah. Like that's ever been a problem around here.

Bo: (whining) Ow! Ow! OWWW! Avee jumped on my back and hote my SPINE!!!
Avee: Oh Bo, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a spine in your back!

Nextly:
I may have a crush on this man.


Okay, I don't have a crush on him. But I do love this show. I rarely see it, but I pretty much cry every time I do. It's called The Locator.

Speaking of crying. What is THAT all about!? I swear I get weepy at everything these days.

Like this, for example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY (won't let me embed, but it's worth watching if you haven't already seen it)

And the other day I was waiting for Bo at the YMCA during his cooking class. I had my bff the Ipod Touch and I was watching an episode of The Unit. And I cried at the end. Sitting in a little lounge area of the YMCA, I CRIED. Seriously ridiculous.

Speaking of The Unit. I love that show. I have watched all four seasons of it, mostly on DVD because I discovered it halfway through the 2nd season and it always struck me as a kind of show you needed to follow from the beginning. So I rented the first two seasons and watched them all on DVD. It's near the end of the 4 season and I have loved every episode. To be fair, there may have been one or two episode I didn't love as much as the rest, but I'd be hard pressed to think of one. It's a really good show. And I really do like all of the characters. There is one character on there, Tiffy, that could sometimes be obnoxious, but I like her now. She did a really weird thing where she always talked loudly like she was making an announcement. Even in normal conversation. She must have gotten some feedback because she doesn't do that anymore. I wanted to write to her about it. It was annoying.

Does anyone else watch or love this show? I don't do a whole lot of hanging around water coolers anymore, but it doesn't seem to be as popular as I think it should be. Plus, who doesn't love that All-State dude. He's awesome.

I have probably 12 more bits of randomness, but my friend just came over to visit and I'm gonna be nice and stop typing while she's talking to me.

Preparing For A Visit

Before my mom comes to visit me I:
Clean my house
Vacuum the stairs
Change the sheets
Hide the soda pop
Quit doing the laundry
Start wearing lipstick
Hide the white sugar
Get ready for a lovely visit

When my mom comes to visit me she:
Has packed 12 outfits for her 2 and a 1/2 day visit
Has included variations for each outfit to account for warm or cold weather
Does every last stitch of laundry in my house
Hounds me for more hangers
Tells me the soda pop hiding in my pantry worries her
Leaves a trail of lipstick kisses all over my kids, especially the baby
Acts like my house always looks this clean and compliments me as though we both don't know it rarely looks like this
Ignores my kids when they say,
"My mom cleaned the house all day"
Makes me go to the store for things I'm running out of and then pays for it
Updates me on The Young and the Restless characters of which I know nothing about
Talks about them like they are real people in real situations
Then tells me to shut up because I'm laughing at her while she does this
Does my dishes before they are even done being used
Listens to my stories and tells me how she loves these kinds of stories

We love it when Grandma comes to visit.

Their first night in Iowa, we went to a restaurant that my sister (who is 8 months pregnant) pretty much drove all the way up here for. We can pretend it was for us, but we all know the truth. This restaurant serves yummy, simple, home-cooked food--family style. The bowls of potatoes they served us, while delicious, were colored kind of yellow/brown. My mom commented on it a few times to me, but I didn't really think much of it. I figured it was because we were eating there an hour before they closed and we were getting the bottom of the barrel.

As we were winding down on the gorge-fest, my mom asked the nice waitress, "What makes these potatoes brown like this?" I was a little surprised to hear my mom say that---because growing up with me as her daughter, I was pretty sure she knew not to point out one's imperfections like that. The waitress answered, with a more proper response, but basically, "it's the bottom of the barrel."
Still a little surprised that my mom had asked I said after the waitress left, "Why don't you just ask her why she's fat too, Mom."

And then the incessant attempt to be the funniest began. And my mom just sat there and let us. Probably we were totally annoying, but she just let us be, and even in our 30's, we sit there thinking we are the funniest thing to ever happen.

My favorite was, "Why don't you have any teeth in your mouth?"

That was J, and he's not even really that funny!

By the way, our waitress was neither fat, nor toothless.

She was lovely.

But the potatoes were brown.

Quotable Quotes

Quotable Quotes was a section in the Reader's Digest that I used to read regularly when I was young.

I'm sure I didn't understand half of what was being said, but I just loved the phrase "Quotable Quotes". And I'm pretty sure at some point in my young life, it was my greatest goal to make it into Quotable Quotes.

"No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care"
-Nobody

Is that quote taken? Is it legal to replace "Author Unknown" with your own name? I'm going to look into that...

Like I have with a lot of ambitious goals in my life, I've moved on. Now my greatest goal is a number on the scale that doesn't make me pass out every time I see it. Or to make it out of the house someday without some child's googe marking my clothing.

Now I live with these little people who say things that I think deserve their own little corner of a page.

Avee:
While admiring her attire and glittery, heeled shoes, she very casually but matter-of-factly stated, "When you look as pretty as I do in these clothes and these shoes, you get to be the boss of everyone."

When describing people who smoke, "He's outside with the people who blow the fire all the time."

While being so very Avee-esque, "If I don't like you I will slap you in the face with the cell phone. I like you though, so I won't slap you very hard Mom."
************************************************************************
Bo:
After losing his first tooth (he had one pulled a year ago) and having super lame parents, "I checked under my pillow and my tooth was still there. Then I checked under your pillow because last time she left my money under your pillow for some reason.... maybe my tooth just wasn't worth enough."

After I spotted a little wet spot on the front of his pants and asking him what happened, "Oh, I just peed a little to give myself some more time to play out here. Oh FINE, I'll go finish in the bathroom."

Danyo:
Sorry, I got nuthin'. He still doesn't talk.

You know, I write about these kind of casually, and ultimately they make me laugh, but on another level, some of this concerns me. I do not, do NOT for the life of me understand Avee's obsession with clothing. Almost every time she makes a comment about how great her clothes make her, I respond with something like, "I love you because you're sweet and funny and nice and a good sister and smart...." or "It's not your clothes that make you pretty, it's your smile, and the nice way you treat people, and eating all your vegetables that makes you pretty." I could seriously be a an elephant blowing through my trunk for all she hears or responds to what I say.

The slapping thing? I have no idea. She has this bully complex that's immediately shattered by the sound of her menacing threats.

And about the boy? Who cares if you can do long division in your head before the 1st grade, if you honestly think peeing on yourself to make room for one more Pokemon battle with your friend, is acceptable?

The End.
P.S. UCMama--you can comment. I'll respond. Big baby.

Touche

Bo, why aren't your shoes on yet?! Get your shoes on!

You mean, why don't I have them on yet?

That's what I said. Bo, you have got to stop correcting me like that. In fact, you need to stop correcting grownups altogether---it's really not okay.

I just didn't hee-yoh you.

I know! That's part of the problem, you didn't hear me and you are five years old. I am 33, I know how to talk.

You mean, you're 25?

This Time--With Pictures!

Sooooo, I have a tendency to sit on the TV remote. A lot. Obviously I don't know I'm doing it---but I'd say anytime we are actively looking for the remote for more than 2 minutes, it is about 94% of the time, under my butt.

It's embarrassing.

However, at this point, it's more funny than embarrassing.

So at Avee's birthday party, our friends were leaving, and her little boy was looking for a toy he'd brought. J joked about the remote always being found under me, so maybe he should look there.

I told him to shut up.

We all laughed.

And then I said, "I think it's under YOU!" and made a huge scene, because wouldn't that be funny if it was under him after he called me out like that?

I leaned to push him aside to look under him and I hear the sweet little 7 year old boy say, "There it is! It's under you Nobody!"

I totally thought it was a joke. And I was about to be seriously impressed by his wit and comedic timing.

It was not a joke. The poor little boy's toy was resting peacefully, under my derriere.

Just now, I sat down to blog, just pictures, and J started looking for the remote. Even though I knew where it was and told him, and even though I'm not on the couch, he said, "Uh, could you just look under your rear for it, just to cut short on the time I spend looking?"

He'd totally be fired if he wasn't so cute. And funny. I have my standards.

I started this post to share the next video of Bo playing the violin. Turns out it was a big hit with the Grandma. But then I was looking through the folder the video is in and saw a handful of pictures that made me smile, so of course I have to share.

A couple of nights ago Danyo had a really late nap, so he wasn't ready for bed at the normal bedtime. So we let him putter around with us until about 9:30. I think the kid was born to be an only child. He was absolutely delightful and we just had a grand ol' time hanging out with him.
At one point, J put some pillows on the floor to lay down. Danyo who was happily playing across the room, got up and marched over to another pillow and made his place on J.

Yeah, this picture is one of 53 of the exact same shot.

Avee got this darling little sundress for her birthday. It's absolutely her. Only problem is, it's a sundress and it's still not really warm here. So, yet another dress we have to work around as we go out in the cold.

She discovered another use for it.

She was mad at me so she decided to really give it to me and hide in her dress.

Then when she realized I was getting pleasure from her pain she threw an air punch (once she'd freed her arms, and ran off downstairs where the grownups don't laugh and take pictures of very, very mad princesses.

Yesterday I was on the computer chatting with my sister when I looked down and saw this:

I mean, seriously? How long had he been sitting there, working his way through my new pack of gum?

Then I tried to get him to spit out what he had. He wasn't even remotely worried that I would be successful in that effort. He didn't try to get away, he didn't even take a defensive position.
He was right.

And finally: Bo halfway to his lucrative career as a musician...