Monday, April 5, 2010

Blogging In The Easter Aftermath

For the last 2-3 weeks I've been meaning to sit down and write, but it just isn't coming naturally anymore. I'm kind of in mourning because I do love having documentation of my ever-fascinating life. But I guess more than "in mourning", I'm lazy. Because it just ain't happening.

Recently I took a road trip to Missouri with just the kids. Things have been really crazy for J at work and he could not get away. It was Spring Break and my kids live and breathe to be in Missouri with the relatives. Aunt S's house is like a wonderland for them and Uncle David is like the biggest, funniest, craziest, strongest kid they've ever played with. Plus there are doting grandparents and animals. None of which we offer up here in Iowa. I try to dote, but I'm not really sure how it's done.

On the way down, I had to stop FOUR times to go to the bathroom. I'm usually so annoyed by my children's fairly sturdy bladders, but this time, I was the weak link. Even Bo expressed his annoyance with me after stop 3. "Oh come ON!" said he. It really doesn't matter what he's expressing his exasperation with, I never get tired of hearing him say that.

While in the bathroom of a truck stop in Iowa, I overheard this:
"I heard they are going to make tanning beds illegal."
"Really? Wow!"
"Yeah, because of the 30 million people who use them, 1 million have gotten cancer."

Now, it's my belief that in most places, this would be said matter-of-factly, and maybe even with some disbelief that something so deliberate has caused so much cancer. But it was said disparagingly. Like for the 1 million that had cancer, it was a fluke, or the odds 1/30 were not that big of a deal. I stifled a laugh and rushed out without drying my hands. I ain't gonna mess with no Tanning Bed Iowa Woman. I know my limits.

We drove down on Avee's birthday. She could not get to Mah-zoe-wee fast enough. Within twenty minutes of our departure she was asking if we'd crossed the border yet. After two hours my "not yet" response was just getting ridiculous. At one point when I said we were still quite a ways away, she responded with a lot of inflection in her voice, but her face completely expressionless, "You gotta be kidding me!" I happened to see her face and thought the blank expression in her face with what she said was really funny. I made mention of it later and was reminded how very Napoleon Dynamite it was. Which, she happened to be watching at the time she said it. So yeah, that's Avee.

My little baby girl turned 5. I have every intention of backdating a love letter to her for her birthday. So don't be surprised if some random March post shows up in your news feed. Nothing to see, just chronicling so I have proof when she's older. Proof that I did love her and she isn't adopted. And that she is in fact smarter than me.

While in Missouri the kids got totally dirty every day. They fell into bed exhausted every night and were beyond happy. At first I laid down with them, thinking that they'd need me because it wasn't their norm. Of course they didn't object. But by day 3 I was tired of that and just left them to their own devices, with the lights out. I'm pretty sure they fell asleep faster that night and the next, than they did when I was in there. I don't know why I'm such a slow learner with that kind of thing.

Today is day 10 of Spring Break. Bo kept quoting his teacher about 10 days of Spring Break. The first time, I stopped and did the math. With weekends, it was 9 days. I just figured she was stretching it to 10 for a teaching purpose. I did find it a little odd that she did that. Bo kept telling everyone about his 10 day spring break. His Grandma expressed surprise to me that he got two full weeks off from school. I told her that they were just counting creatively, he only had one week.

So yeah. Turns out he has this Monday off. Why? I don't know. I'm beginning to think that the calendar setter for this school district likes to party on Sundays or something. We had a random Monday off at Christmas Break too. It's a good thing Bo's a persistent know-it-all or I would have needlessly gotten dressed and fed my kids this morning.

Let me see if I can come up with anymore mindless drivel for this post....

I guess that's all. Oh now, wait, wait, I just thought of something. The other day a commercial for the new Miley Cyrus movie came on. J was passing through the room and I said, "I heard that movie was really really good. Like, surprisingly good." J did what I LIVE for and he's done since we met. He stared at me, without responding. He searched my face for even the remotest indication that I was joking. He found nothing. He trusts me, and he's yet to see the depths my deadpanning abilities can go and so he responded, "Really? Huh. Wouldn't have thought that." That's all I want. Verbal confirmation that he believes me and then I can laugh and laugh about how funny I really really am. So I did. Strange thing is, he didn't think I was that funny. Whatever, must have been a fluke.


Adolescent Family said...

Happy Birthday Avee! ;)

I think your right about the Monday's off of school thing :) I don't know of anywhere else they do 'Easter Monday' either. But after 5 years of having it, I missed it this year.

Barnecked Lady said...

So, are you pregnant?

MommyJ said...

Barnecked took my question. That's the first thing I thought when you said you stopped to pee three times.

And please don't ever stop writing permanently. You are far too entertaining to go away.

Sarah Tilley said...

henry got monday off, too. so did my sister's kids. maybe easter sunday is a bug party holiday for teachers or something.

Charlotte said...

I think you may have had a bladder transplant with my husband. He is always the one who needs to stop (more often than a potty training 3 year old)!

I'm just waiting for the day I send my kids to the bus stop and it is actually a day off. I know it is only a matter of time.

Klin said...

"I would have needlessly gotten dressed and fed my kids this morning."

My thoughts exactly!

You Rock!

Super L said...

Isn't Easter Monday a state holiday in Iowa? Maybe I'm remembering wrong.

Big M was once driving past a movie theatre with his boss and remarked how he was really looking forward to seeing the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. "What? Really?" "No."


Sketchy said...

Yeah, sucks to be part of the piddly million.

Oh and our school district got the Friday before Spring Break and the Monday after Spring Break off as teacher prep days...guess it would have been a good time to go to Mah-zoe-wee.

Amy said...

Love the last paragraph. Greatness!

You can roadtrip it to my new crib soon. We can throw all the kids in the basement and make them unpack all the toys.