This morning I was driving to the HUMONGOUS DFW airport to pick up J. It really is a huge airport. Well, maybe not the inside, but the outside is like 6 freeway exits to get to your desired terminal. Insane.
I have trouble getting on the right highway, making the right exit, merging to the left 3 lanes while the lane I'm merging into is trying to get on the right to exit----it's just not pretty. is trying Once you are merged and whatnot, terminals A-E are big ol' freeway exits of their own.
After you take the right off-ramp, then you have two more choices of direction. I've only ever chosen "Arrivals" but even after that, there's two more choices. We are rats in a maze and J is our piece of cheese. It's okay, I think if J had to be any food, it would be cheese.
Anyway, as I'm nearing the airport the SECOND time around, Bo asks, "When will we see Daddy?" I say, "Really soon, we are sooo close!" Then he asks, "Hey! What does 'soon' mean?"
And this is what I came up with:
It means, s-s-s...It means pretty s-s-s...uhhh, it's like, in the near fut---it's coming up....it's....
What it WAS, was entirely ridiculous. What DOES soon mean!?!?! Could the reason that I, an intelligent woman, cannot define soon--be because I have conversations like this regularly:
Bo: Somebody broke my fire truck
Me: What happened?
Bo: It's broken
Me: How did it break?
Bo: Somebody broke it.
Me: What's wrong with it? How do you know it's broken?
Bo: Because it won't work
The sad thing about this dialogue is, I'm the idiot in the conversation. He is answering every question I ask. He later came crying about it again (it sadly is not making it's 110 decibels screeching siren sound, the jury is still out on whether this constitutes broken or blessing) and I suggested he might need a nap. He suddenly forced a horrific smile that looked more like a chihuahua bearing it's teeth and "cheerfully" said, "But I'm happy! I'm just happy" combined with a forced laugh.
We really do condition our children unknowingly. This all stems from, "Your whining and crying tells me you are tired." So obviously, happy and forced laugh means you aren't tired.